Happily Ever After
Drudgery. That is the word which describes my life. I wash and hang, cook and clean, prepare the house for visitors that never come, and endure the haughty disapproval of the lady of the house.
The master is always away from his empty, sterile, century and a half year old house, leaving it to the capable (hah!) hands of his wife. The woman has been endowed with such striking beauty that she is always noticed and envied; even by the many people who hate her. It is truly a pity such a lovely countenance was vested upon such a shrewish woman.
Sadly, such is the norm, I hear. But if my old friends Cinderella and Snow White could “grin and bear it”, surely I can as well. I still cannot fathom their contentment with such an unimportant station in life. Surely there was a time when they were dissatisfied. If they were, they never let on. I mean, after all, they are both now living happily ever after with their gorgeous princes. I can only sigh wistfully while I dream of such ever happening to me. Ordinary princes don’t converse with many peasants (“naturally”), and never bother to think we are the legs upon which they stand, without us, they would be nothing. All well, I don’t want a prince anyways, just a handsome but fierce knight ready to fight evil at a moments notice. Ah, to be one of the few who break the mold...
Ahem, excuse my self-pity, it just gets a bit old, scrubbing the same floors, washing the same windows, and cleaning and re-hanging the same curtains in the same old house, under the same critical stare of the same friendless, bitter woman...
I apologize, my mind tends to wander when I scrub the entryway. It’s my way of passing the time. I tried singing once, the way my two friends use to when they were in such domestic positions. I even opened the door in hopes of drawing the attention of a dashing young man. He was dashing alright; as fast and as far away from me as he could. Even the parlor window cracked as if it were trying to leave its wooden casing and escape from such a near vicinity to me.
Alas, such is to be my lot in life. I shall never go on daring adventures, wed a fine-looking knight wearing shining armor and carrying a powerful sword he calls “Blade” (or some such name), nor shall I ever ride upon his noble steed as we travel toward the setting sun, or hear words of devotion spilling from his lips in lengthy limericks (or is it sonnets? I always confuse the two). No matter, it shall never happen to me. I’ll never have a happily ever after. I can only look forward to the continuous monotony of the life of a serv–. Is that a knock at the door? Excuse me. Oh! It’s an attractive knight.
“Can I help you, Sir?”
“See the head of this dragon? I have slain it just for you. My trusty sword ‘Blade’ has never let me down in combat. I’ve come to release you from this life of drudgery in favor of a new one in which you are revered as a great and dignified woman. We shall ride off on Noble, my valiant steed, and enjoy grand adventures battling against evils like giants, ogres, homework, dragons, monsters, and bubblegum flavored ice cream. Of course, since we’ll always be moving from one place of need to another we’ll have to live in a tent, so your cooking and cleaning skills will come in handy because those places will be too dangerous to bring along servants. Did I mention plague, epidemics, and such have sprung up in the areas in which we’ll be living? But don’t worry; I’m sure cures will be found soon. You will always hear of my love and devotion, day and night. I shall praise your beauty even in my dreams. We will live happily ever after once I discover a new province in our travels and declare myself king over its people. I’ll have a castle built and we’ll fill every room with children for you to raise because it will be a while before we can hire servants, and –. ”
I won’t listen to another word. I don’t even care that I slapped him so hard my hand stings or that I slammed the door on his nose. Drudgery?! The nerve of the man! As if I want to leave my comfortable position of cleaning a grand, century and a half old house for the most beautiful woman in the province, so I could live in tent? A tent! Fight plagues, homework, and children? Ah! The thought chills me to my bones. And dragon heads? Ewww! Why would I want to leave a wonderful domestic job in a comfortable and safe environment? No way. I enjoy working for my mistress. She might be a bit serious sometimes, but that just means she wants me to do my best. And her lack of friends just reflects their ignorance, not her demeanor. “Blade”? As if that’s a clever name for a sword; and bubble gum ice cream isn’t an adventure. I need to go hang the freshly washed curtains, and clean the fireplace before I get to work on the windows, and start the dusting, and...
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6 comments:
Jade! You never cease to amaze me sweetie! yo have such talent in writing. Aren't you the one who wants to study plants? I think you have a second career in the field of writing calling your name. lol I think more than anything your word choosing is what amplifies your paper. I could copy my comment from your folk tale or I could just say ditto to it! Sometimes all you can say is "awesome" and hope that it gets the point across. Sometimes the pieces you write words can not even describe how good it is. You rock my....aww you know the rest!
Shea
Lol, Shea. Thank you for the feedback. I know I made it stupid, but it was fun to write. I will most definitely be writing and publishing for some extra cash. :)My Botany phase has passed. Though I still find it fascinating. Lol. I'm looking into Archaeology after I get through college. If nothing else, I'll just be a double major in History and English and use both for a future carreer if Archaeology isn't what God has in store for me. :)
Thank you for the encouragement and complements. They really made my day. :)
You rock my socks too, sweetie.
Jadie
Mckibbens seem to like careers in "ology" fields. Whatever profession you go into, I am sure that you will be awesome at it. I know from experience if we devote ourselves to serving God with the talents that he has blessed us with it will only please Him. It wasn't stupid but I did find it funny. ; ) See ya in ilinc
Shea
Jade, I'm with Shea, all the way. I love it. This is the funniest and most less serious one you have written that I have read. :) It was hilarious how she wanted her prince to come and take her away but after he came and told her everything that would happen to them she changed her mind. I guess sometimes what you think you want isn't what you want at all. You most definely have a career in writing.
Your friend and writing buddy,
Doneisha :)
Aww, thank you so much, Doneisha.
Yes, she wanted a fairy tale romance, but when it came a long, she changed her mind because it wasn't exactly what she imagined and because it would have been a dramatic change in her life. That's exactly what I wanted to get across in this story. :) When you hear about a fairy tale, the first thing you think about is some damsel in distress and wanting her handsome rescuer to take her away to a happily ever after. I'm all for those, don't get me wrong, but I wanted to do something unique.
You're right, I usually do more serious and deeper pieces, but I wanted to show my sense of humor in this one. I really like how it turned out. And I think it's a great lesson in "Be careful what you wish for, because you just might have the opportunity to have it." :) You're very right, sometimes what we think we want ins't always what's best for us or what God wants for us; and sometimes, what we think we want turns out to be different than we expected, and not what we wanted at all. I'm glad you understood that. :)
Jadie
Hey Jade, that's some quality satire you've written there! It was hilarious! Your choice of vocabulary was excellent! The reference to Cinderella and Snow White were very clever. All in all, it's a fine piece of literature worthy of publication.
Good Job!
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