Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Doneisha's Romance Chapter

The Hope Princess

Princess Heather rushed out to the stables to found and tell her best friend, Heart that King Stephen, the Princess’ brother, is on his way home from his meeting with one of the two neighboring kingdoms. Nobody ever went to the other one.
She had to ask several of the stable workers where she could find her when finally Dan, the stable manager, told her that Heart was in one of the back fields with Black Thunder, her horse. Heather rushed out of the stables and made her way back there. When she found Heart, she rushed trying to climb the fence and her dress got caught on a nail that was sticking out causing her to trip and fall on her face in the field.
When Heart saw the Princess fall she rushed to her side with Black Thunder trotting right behind her, to see if she was all right and to assist her up. By the time, Heart reached her side Heather was sitting up and other then the fact that she had dirt on her face seemed otherwise okay. In fact, she was giggling.
“Henny you need to be more care. You could have been seriously hurt.”
By this time, she was laughing so hard that tears were rolling down her face and Heart couldn’t help but join her. For five straight minutes sweet laughter could be heard coming from the fields. Black Thunder looked at the two of them as if they were crazy and then started grazing.
When the stable workers heard it they all ran to the doorway to see what all the commotion was about and saw Heart and the Princess on the ground laughing. They all wondered what it was those two were laughing at but knew it was hopeless to try and find out so they all went back to work. After their laughing spell was over Heart and Heather stayed on their backs and watched the clouds lazy drift by and feel the gentle breeze that had been blowing since early morning.
After a moment, Heart sits up and asks, “You do realize that there is a gate not two feet from the fence you tried to climb over, right?”
“I know there is, but I was trying to be you. You make climbing or jumping over fences look easy.”
“That’s because I’ve had a lot of practice. Now, what is it you wanted to tell me?”
Heather quickly stands up and jumping up and down, shouts “Stephen is coming home! Stephen is coming home!”
Heart shakes her head and then smiles at her. “You are always exited when he comes home. Even though you know he goes to visit the other kingdom once every year.”
Heather puts her serious face on which makes her look a few years older than she really is. “I know, but he’s gone for a week and a half. Doesn’t that give me a right to be excited when he comes home?”
“Yeah, I guess so. Anyways, I guess we better get ready. About what time will he be arriving?”
“Oh, shoot! I was so excited to tell you that I didn’t stick around to find out.”
“Well, go find out then. I’ll be in shortly.”
“Ok, Heart.”
With that Heather climbs over the fence with more success than her previous try and rushes back to the castle. Heart gets up and brushes her butt off. She then turns back to her still grazing horse and says, “Oh, brother. What am I going to with her? If she makes it to twenty without being seriously injured, it’ll be a miracle.”
Black Thunder tilts his ears to her but keeps on grazing.
She pauses for a moment then says, “Do you think her family will notice the dirt on her face?”

Later that day, “Oh, Stephen should be here by now. Where could he be, Heart?”
“I have no idea, Heather.”
The Liberty family and Heart were on the front patio wanting for the safe arrival of Stephen. As the day worn on and there was still no sign of him and his escort, three experienced and one in training, everybody couldn’t help but worry. Heather had sent five soldiers out to found them after they were an hour late. None of the five had come back. Until now.
With Heart and Heather in the lead, all of them ran as quickly as they could to see what they feared the most. Each soldier was leading one of the escorts’ horses. Two were lying face down on their horses. The other two were badly injured, unconscious, and leaning against their horses’ necks. Heart reached them first and knew that the first two were dead. When the other girls reached them they gasped and covered their mouths with their hands, except Penelope. She was looking for her brother. All she saw was his horse being lead and an empty saddle.
“Where’s Stephen?” She asked calmly. No one answered her.
“Where’s Stephen?” She asked again. Still no reply.
“WHERE’S STEPHEN!?” She shouted with everything she had.
“Shut up, Heather. We have to worry about those that are here first. You two, take the boy and his mentor to the doctor immediately or else we’re loose them both and we need them for questioning. Unfortunately, you two take them to the priest, there is no hope for them now and he will have their bodies prepared for burial. Then gather all the horses and take them to the stable workers. They’ll look after them.”
The soldiers hurriedly did what they were told. Meanwhile, Heather had been shocked to silence. Never in all her life had Heart every talked to her that way, had ever told her to shut up. She didn’t know what to think. She forgot that she was the princess and in reality the leader while Stephen was gone. Instead she broke down and started crying.
Heart looked at her for a moment and then walked slowly to her and wrapped her arms around her in the most comforting hug she could give.
“I’m sorry, Henny. But they had to be taken care of first. Listen, your brother has to be alive. If he was dead they would have brought him back with the others.”
Heart ended the hug and then said, “Now come on, we need to go see if either the boy or his mentor is awake so we can ask them what happened.”
So with Heart and Heather leading, they headed back to the castle to find out what happened.

After they had interviewed the boy and found out that the other kingdom with the evil king had attacked them and kidnapped Stephen, an urgent meeting was called.
When Heart and Heather entered the room, it was noisy beyond belief with all the men talking at once. Only some of the conversation going on could be understood but one stood out among all the rest, “someone should go after them and bring him back.”
“Yes, you’re right and I’m the one who’s going to do just that.”
All the men and Heather turned to look at the person who had made that very bold statement, Heart.
“No, Heart. I forbid you to do that.”
“You can’t stop me, Daddy. I’ve made up my mind. I’m twenty-five after all.”
“But Heart...”
“Heather, don’t say it. I know it’s dangerous but that’s a risk I’m willing to take.”
“But why you Heart?”
“Because Henny, I’m all pack and ready to go. I have six days of food for two people and a plan to get there as fast as I can before something bad happens to him. I am, of course, taking Black Thunder. There’s enough horse for both of us and he can run fast even with a couple hundred pounds on his back. I’ll also be taking my bow and arrows and my sword, Lightning Blade, in case I run into any trouble. When I get there I’ll make a plan to get him and get away from there as fast as we can. Besides all that the last thing they would ever expect is a woman coming to his aid so I’ll have the element of surprise on my side. Now if you people are finished questioning me I need to leave. I don’t want him to wait even one day for me.”
Without another word she exited the room, leaving behind a deafening silence.
After a moment, Heather followed her out the door and rushed to catch up before she left. She caught up to Heart outside just before she mounted Black Thunder.
“Heart...”
Heart takes her foot from the stirrup and puts it back on the ground. Without turning to Heather she says, “I promise, if it’s the last thing I ever do for you, I will being your brother back alive. I promise you.”
With that Heart mounts Black Thunder and starts for the left entrance to the kingdom. With tears streaming down her face Heather shouts, “Heart! I know if anyone can bring him back alive, it’s you.”
She gets no response from Heart but she hadn’t expected one anyway.

Three days later Heart and Black Thunder arrived on the outskirts of the kingdom. It’s very early in the morning and not a soul is moving about. Soft woos from an owl and the chirps of crickets are the only things that can be heard. They make their way to the castle with all their senses on alert.
When they arrive at the castle, she hides him in the bushes and starts to create her second plan. She knows that the men who kidnapped Stephen couldn’t have arrived but a few hours before her. So she sneaks around watching, gathering information. The guards don’t know their being watched. All the while the sun is slowly coming up over the horizon and it’s getting lighter and lighter.
She’s standing in a crack in a wall facing a big dirt area but watches the sun as it slowly rises over the horizon. When she suddenly hears a door bang against a wall and quickly turns back to see many guards come and stand beside the wall. After a few minutes another person appears in the entry of the same door that the guards came out off. When they see him they all quickly stand up taller as if their lives depended on it. Heart knew that that could be no one else but the evil king she’s heard so much about. He walked out of the building to go sit in his outside throne that just happened to be in the shade. Right behind him was two more guards, half carrying half dragging another man with no shirt on in between them. He was badly beaten and bleeding from a few cuts. Heart didn’t have to see his face to know that was Stephen.
A big ball of rage formed in her stomach. He had only been here for a few hours and they had beaten him like he was no one important! Even though he’s a king too! All the stories she heard about this king were true.
The king had already arrived at his seat and after making a big show of himself, sat down. The three men arrived at the throne and after throwing Stephen on the ground at that king’s feet, which made Heart even angrier, exited back through the door they had all came from.
Heart’s eyes were glued to the scene before her. She couldn’t look away especially when Stephen slowly got to his knees. She could tell that he was hurting, even though he was doing his best to hide it and her heart went out to him.
“What have you got to say for yourself before you die?” The evil king asked.
“You won’t get away with this.”
“Such big words for a man that’s on the ground before me. I’ll tell you what if you pledge alliance to me I’ll be kind and let you go back to your kingdom. What do you say?”
“Never.”
The king got up and walked to Stephen. When he got to him the king grabbed Stephen’s hair and yanked it back saying in the most evilness voice Heart had ever heard, “See I was trying to be nice and let you live the rest of your live in peace and happiness but you refuse my offer and so you shall die.”
The king let go over his hair and stomped back to his throne. When he sat down and nodded his head Heart knew it was time to stop watching and time to start rescuing. She hurriedly climbed down and the last thing she saw was two men approaching Stephen. After she reached the ground she ran to Black Thunder and grabbing his reins lead him to the only other way in and out of that area. This is where her plan went into action. When she reached the entry way she turned to face her horse. She grabbed his bridle so that they could be face to face and asked, “Do you want to go for a run boy?”
Black Thunder was anxious for a run. He had been ever since they arrived here and he knew he was going to get one. That’s why he had wanted so long. But now he pranced in place showing his impatience at wanting too.
“Yeah, I thought you did.”
She mounted, which was a little difficult with all his prancing but she managed. Afterwards, she leans against his neck and whispers in his ear, “Ok, boy. We only have one shot at this so we have to make it count. So let’s go!”

Stephen knew he could take those two if only he wasn’t so tired and sore. He might have been able to take all the others too. He thought this was going to be the end of him. He wasn’t afraid to die because he knew where he was going but... Being only twenty-seven, he had his whole life ahead of him and now it was being cut short. He didn’t regret anything he had ever done. It was the things he hadn’t done yet that he was regretting now. Like saying I love you to Hea... A loud banging noise interrupted his thoughts. He looked up in time just to see black fur and budging muscles and felt an arrow go pass his head and heard someone behind him scream. It ran pass him and he realized it was a horse...a black horse and there was someone on that horse. Someone who wore tan pants and black boots and that was all the farther he could look right now. But he knew someone who wears an outfit like that and he couldn’t believe that she’s here...that her father would allow her to do this. With all the strength he had left he got to his feet.

When Heart and Black Thunder burst through the door all of them had looked her way and was stunned to see a woman. She had only a few moments to put her plan into action and get Stephen before someone regained his senses and attacked.
She didn’t want to kill anyone but if she had to she would. So she shot the soldier that was about to cut of Stephen’s head in the upper arm and he cried out in surprised pain. Black Thunder ran past so he could turn around. Some of the men were quickly gaining their senses back but instead of reaching for their swords or shouting out for more assistance, they just stood there as if they really wanted her to rescue him. Some watched her ride pass; all the others looked at the ground as if they were ashamed. This really confused her but she didn’t have time to ponder it. All the while, the king was completely silent and still.
Heart didn’t want to stop but if Stephen stayed on his knees then she would have to. So as Black Thunder circled back around she looked at him and was stunned to see him standing. She put Black Thunder into a trot and bracing herself held her hand out to Stephen for him to grab it. He ran to get some momentum even though with every step he took pain shoot through his body but he didn’t want to pull Heart off the saddle which he was sure he’d do if she grabbed his hand while he was standing completely still. So for a few painful minutes, Black Thunder and Stephen jogged side by side but after grabbing Heart’s hand he manages to jump on his back. Heart gives him a second to right himself and wraps his arms around her waist. He leans against her, nearly pushing her into the back of Black Thunder but she doesn’t mind. He is so close to her not only could she hear his heavy breathing she could feel it too. She then lets Black Thunder go from a trot to a full out gallop, that he’s more than happy to do, as they race to the exit.
Heart then hears the king shout, “After them! Don’t let them get away or you will all pay,” as they go though it.
A few minutes later, she hears horses behind them but doesn’t bother looking back. She just concentrates on Black Thunder’s running. The people in town are getting up and ready for the day when they hear many hoofs clopping in the dirt road. They look out there windows to see two people on a black horse and the king’s soldiers right behind them. Many say a silent pray to God, hoping those two get away.
They ride to the outskirts of the town with the soldiers still behind them. They enter the forest and Black Thunder with no direction from Heart leaves the trail and starts to weave in between the trees to make them be a harder target to hit.
In the middle of the forest there is a river. In the upper part of the river the edges are cliff-like. But if you go down about half a mile there is a mini waterfall and the edges level out and meet the river. The first time, Heart and Black Thunder arrived at the upper part, they left the trail to find an easier way to cross it because it was very dark then and they had been walking instead of trotting or galloping. When they found the lower level they had to go down a little slope to reach it. Afterwards they crossed the river, went back up to the trail, and headed for the town. But now they were running the opposite way and had no time to go down to cross it again. So right then and there she decided to jump it. Mainly because, she had all the horse she needed right under her since besides being a great runner with plenty of endurance, Black Thunder was also a great jumper with no fear.
She had Black Thunder go back on the trail even though it would expose them. She had him run as fast as he could as the river came closer and closer. Black Thunder knew Heart wanted him to jump it and was prepared to do so. When they reached the edge Black Thunder jumped. When they land safely on the other side they kept running. All of a sudden, Stephen squeezes Heart’s waist very hard. She wonders why but didn’t have time to stop and find out right now.
When they had come out of the trees, the archer had strung his bow and took aim. They thought those three would stop or change direction but they didn’t. They just kept running straight to the river. The soldiers knew or rather thought they knew that those three could never make it over the river. No horse could. So when they did the soldiers were amazed. They quit following them and stopped close to the edge. Their horses were tired and were completely unable to make the jump over. So instead, the archer took aim at Stephen’s back and fired the arrow.

A few hours later they stop for lunch and to give Black Thunder a break. He had been running hard for a long time. Heart is startled when she finds out why Stephen had squeezed her earlier. He had been shot in the shoulder blade by an archer when Black Thunder had landed safely on the other side. Since he’s a head taller than she is, she has him sit so she can take the arrow out and clean all his wounds. Afterwards she unsaddles Black Thunder and leads him to a stream where he takes one big drink and then starts grazing on the cool grass. She leaves him there, knowing that he won’t wander off. She starts to gather wood for a small fire, not knowing that Stephen has been watching her.
After she disappears behind a tree, Stephen lays down on the soft grass and as he slowly drifts off to sleep, thinks, “Heart, you don’t know how much this little journey has changed the life you thought you knew, forever. A secret of your past will come to light and you will find out who you truly are. Nor do you know how much I really love you, especially now more then ever. But soon you will know everything about your past and be angry at me for not telling you. Oh, well. I’ll just wait for that day and then take your wrath that’s...sure...to...come,” and with those words he drifts into a much need sleep.
Heart comes back from gathering wood and discovers Stephen has fallen asleep. She looks at him for a moment trying to decide if she should wake him up for some lunch or not. Deciding that he has been though enough the pass three days with little to no sleep, leaves him be. She realizes that she’s not that hungry either and decides to just wait until later. She hasn’t slept that much since she went on this quest and realizes that she’s quite tired herself. So she gets two blankets from the saddlebags. She covers him with one and then lies down a foot away from him, covers herself with the other. With thankfulness in her heart, she drifts off into a peaceful sleep.

1 comment:

Jewel_girl said...

I love it, I love it, I love it! D. that is so original. You did an awesome job! And I loved the transitions between viewpoints. That's a great touch.

I do have a couple of pointers, though. Several times throughout the story, I noticed that you switched verb tenses. You need to pick one and stick with it. Otherwise, the reader will get confused. Also, along with the verb tenses, you have a tendency to drop ending off of certain words. (I have the same problem, hun.) You should also break you sentences a little more. I noticed a few (not a many, just two or three) really big run ons that could be 2-3 good sentences. One last thing. I could tell you were trying to condense it, but that's a story that really can't be cut down. Because you condensed it, it felt just a little fast paced and some things weren't quite as explained as they at first seem. I really suggest you draft it out a few more times and make it longer and even think about publishing it. It would make a really great short story, or if you want to make it even longer with added background and such, a novel.

I hope you don't think I'm dissing your story, because it is phenomenal! And I am dying to know what the "secret past" is. Will you write a sequel? Please? :)

Jadie